Schoolyard Penis Seen From Space

Couldn’t resist posting this headline. Two 11 year old pupils who drew a giant penis on a school lawn using weed killer two years ago can still admire their work from satellite photos now posted on the internet.

Now that’s worth telling your grandchildren about. I always wished I could be so inventive – or brave. Instead my friend Bruce was the author of all the jolly japes and bizarre leaps of imagination.

For example, he invented an imaginary friend (Norman Andrews) and added him to the school roll, so that his bemused class teacher received a note each day about him skipping classes. He convinced (very) gullible classmates that Chinese people didn’t do French kissing because they were embarrassed by the hairs on the inside of their mouth. In a more twisted moment he assured a classmate that the quiet girl in our class was disturbed as the result of an early teenage pregnancy, and that she kept the pickled foetus which she took out and cuddled every night.

Who would have guessed that he could go on to find a way to turn these talents to the good of society, particularly with his fabulous spam letters, in which he replied to a series of invitations to get rich quick.

Ah, there is good everywhere.

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6 Responses to Schoolyard Penis Seen From Space

  1. bruce says:

    Ah, good times. I’d forgotten about the chinese french kissing thing.

    You didn’t mention my telling you and Shez that your chemistry teacher had given birth unexpectedly in the chemistry lab, thereby giving you a reason (you thought) to skip the class, and thereby becoming the first 6th formers ever to be on attendance report.

    You gullible mongs.

  2. Pingback: Bruce Lawson’s personal site  : Glenn says

  3. Tresnja says:

    The penis look like a great idea to really proove to your grandchildren your stories, as he grass will probable never grow again. I just read the letter and LMAO 🙂 I must try similar thing, but I think I don’t have that much imagination

  4. Glenn says:

    And where’s the Friday joke Lawson? You lazy b…

  5. shez says:

    Yep, we were unceremoniously stripped of our Prefect badges as well – I never recovered from the humiliation… I also remember the sublime scrotum shedding jape, the bionic foot and opening umbrellas psychically – Ms. Denning and Ms. Williman being the gullible victims. Oh, and how many test tube holders can you hang from Johnny Jones’ lab coat without him noticing? Sorry I couldn’t make the last meet chaps – hope to see you again soon.

  6. Martyn says:

    I will be Killed for this if my wife finds I posted this but my son had his first sex education class about six months ago and started asking the normal questions as a 9 year old does. Julia took me to one side and told me to have a talk with him. In panic at the thought I asked why she couldent have the talk she said she didn’t know everything. Puzzled I asked if she was there at all the pertinent times during his emergence onto the earth she said she could tell him all that but not some of the specifics of mens health for instance about scrotum shedding season. After stopping having fits and getting up from the floor I finally had to admit that all the piss ups I managed to get without her having a problem, with were not in fact due to then celebration of SSS. My only relief is that she didn’t take the matter into her own hands and tell my son that his balls would drop off once a year when he became a man. ps can you remember scaring the shit out of the farmer at forge mill with the manifestation of Norman on Halloween?

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