Meme?

Having been "memed" by Bruce I had to look up what this was.

According to the International Roiter Doister himself, it's "just geekspeak for 'Chain Letter' " – so your average load of old bollocks then. Here's his. But since, according to The Memes List "you'll never run short of blog material again", and I have had notably little to add to my blog for the last couple of months, I thought it worth a go.

That and the fact that according to the chain letter he so thoughtfully sent me, if I don't, my penis will fall off.

So here goes…

Four jobs I've had in my life

  • MacDo "team member" (6 weeks). I got sacked for not being a team player, which was very unfair. I am a team player. I just didn't want to be on their team.
  • Machine operator in a fishing tackle factory (combined total of 16 weeks). My record was 500 brass thingy bits in 1hr 46 mins. Can you beat that? There were disappointingly few jokes about "tackle".
  • Brussels lobbyist (10 years). Best moment – winning a funding programme worth £1.2bn.
  • Sherriff of Nottingham in the pantomime "Babes in the Wood" (3 week run). Complete freedom to scream, shout, terrify small children, humiliate big-mouthed hecklers, lecherously eye-up buxom teenage actresses, abuse subordinates, sword-fight like Dartagnon, lie, cheat and swish my big black cloak like it was going out of fashion. Easily the best 'job' ever.

Four movies I can watch over and over

  • Monty Python & the Holy Grail
  • The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
  • The Blues Brothers
  • ET

Four places I have lived

  • Norton Cannon, Herefordshire (pop. 12ish). Mum, Dad and five kids in a two-up two-down seemingly miles from anywhere; with cold running water, outside toilet and a tin bath in front of the fire . Suurounded by fields and farms and woods. A magical world for a child.
  • Redditch, Worcs. 80's land of luxury lego council houses (my own bedroom!), and launch pad to a wider world including…
  • Argoed, Gwent. A glimpse of the best and worst of Wales' coal mining communities after the pits closed. Wonderful people, appalling mess.
  • Brussels, Belgium. The worst – Belgian waiters. The best – an outstanding quality of life.

Four TV shows I love to watch

  • Match of the Day. Lineker, Lawro and Hansen. TV gold.
  • The Young Ones (University Challenge – Scumbag College)
  • The Fast Show
  • The Six Nations. In the pub with the Welsh fans.

Four places I have been on vacation

  • Trecco Bay, Porthcawl. Summer hols in Auntie Gill's caravan, and then our own. Reputedly the largest caravan park in Europe. Sitting on the headland, watching the sea come in…
  • Moscow and Leningrad, USSR. Nevsky Prospekt with Lynne, Simon and Sue on New Years Eve 1987. Unforgettable.
  • Epidauros, Greece. There was a big theatre. And a effing enormous wasp!
  • Venice, Italy.

Four of my favourite dishes

  • Moules Mariniere and frites
  • Heinz steamed treacle pudding. With lashings of custard. No shares.
  • Shepherds Pie
  • Chevagne goats cheese with fresh baguette (and wine!)

Four websites I visit daily
Four?! I'm so un-webcool. The sites I visit more or less daily are:

Others I like:

Four places I would rather be right now

  • In the pub
  • Collecting my lottery winnings
  • Playing PES5 with my kids
  • The Highlands & Islands (Scotland)

Four bloggers I am tagging
Oh bollocks to that. I don't really read other blogs except to keep up with old mates. And even then it's only to make sure they haven't spilled the beans about Johnny Wankmag.

Oh. Right.

Oh well. At least my penis hasn't fallen off.

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3 Responses to Meme?

  1. Anonymous says:

    University Challenge – Scumbag College

    Oh God, yeah. That was ace.

    ps: glad I saved your penis!

    bruce

  2. Shez says:

    Did you forget McDonald’s, 1984? You were sacked not long after me as I remember. And Bruce had all the wankmags.

  3. Glenn says:

    How could I forget MacDo(nalds)? I have a particularly vivid memory of the uniform. Especially the massively flared nylon trousers, which were (believe it or not) ever so slightly unfashionable for a short period in the early 80s.–>

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