That’s not to say my children aren’t around. They live here with me. We spend lots of time together. They’re just a little older, and ever more interesting. But I miss the eight and six year old them too. They are the kids that loved “The Land That Time Forgot” and saw the world with a beautiful innocence.

I was reflecting the other day, on how my parents miss me (and my other long distant siblings) and it made me realise how much I will miss my own kids when the time comes for them to leave. But I only just realised that I miss them already. So maybe we prepare ourselves for the final separation, by learning to cope with the loss of all their other ages, as we go along.

Back to the first

Now that’s worth telling your grandchildren about. I always wished I could be so inventive – or brave. Instead my friend Bruce was the author of all the jolly japes and bizarre leaps of imagination.

For example, he invented an imaginary friend (Norman Andrews) and added him to the school roll, so that his bemused class teacher received a note each day about him skipping classes. He convinced (very) gullible classmates that Chinese people didn’t do French kissing because they were embarrassed by the hairs on the inside of their mouth. In a more twisted moment he assured a classmate that the quiet girl in our class was disturbed as the result of an early teenage pregnancy, and that she kept the pickled foetus which she took out and cuddled every night.

Who would have guessed that he could go on to find a way to turn these talents to the good of society, particularly with his fabulous spam letters, in which he replied to a series of invitations to get rich quick.

Ah, there is good everywhere.

Previous episode | Next episode

As someone brought up in “the Truth” (as Jehovah’s Witnesses call it) I get the occassional caller at the door. They generally seem not just reasonable but positively saintly, until you get to the small print. I recently got sent a copy of one of the Jehovah’s Witnesses current pamphlets entitled The End of False Religion is Near. Apart from the apocalyptic title this starts off pretty well. It kind of makes simple sense.

“Are you distressed about crimes committed in the name of religion? Do the warfare, terrorism, and corruption perpetrated by those who claim to serve God offend your sense of justice? Why does religion seem to be at the root of so many problems?” it says.

Well, now you come to mention it…

“The fault lies, not with all religion, but with false religion. ” 

Hey yeh! I know some good people who wear their spirituality lightly but profoundly, so it’s not religion itself that’s the problem.

“False religion… meddles in politics and war”

Now ain’t that the truth. Look at all the nutters killing for their God.

“False religion … spreads false doctrine. By means of this teaching, many of these religions exploit their members, charging money to pray for departed souls.”

 Yeh. How come their God needs their cash so much?

“False religion… tolerates immoral sex”

Oh. Right.

“In Western lands, church groups ordain gay and lesbian members of the clergy and urge governments to recognize same-sex marriages.”

Yeh yeh.

“Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men . . . will inherit God’s kingdom.”

Ok. Ok already!

They all start off sounding reasonable. But they all seem to get to the same place in the end.

Previous episode | Next episode

My blog article to which this refers is fairly old, recalling as it does the Welsh rugby grand slam of 2005, and the alleged reaction of one slightly over-the-top fan. It’s certainly a strange story. But I am curious to know the circumstances in which someone would be sitting at their keyboard, typing in such a search string. I suppose the prosaic explanation would be “I had heard this story and wanted to check whether it was true”, but I really hope it was something less mundane.

So, if my visitor should return to this site to continue their research on this fascinating topic, please, leave a comment telling the full tale – in frighteningly vivid detail.  

Previous episode | Next episode